By Scarlett Lewis, Chief Movement Officer, Choose Love Movement
We all have a natural inclination to stay within our comfort zones. This is where life feels stable, safe, and familiar—a place of low stress and security. However, real growth and fulfillment lie beyond this inner circle, in the learning and growth zones. To get there, we must pass through the fear zone, which requires courage and self-confidence.
The Zones of Growth
The typical model of learning and growth is represented in concentric circles:
- Comfort Zone: A place of ease, stability, and routine.
- Fear Zone: Where uncertainty, stress, and self-doubt emerge. It requires courage to push through.
- Learning Zone: Where we embrace challenges, solve problems, acquire new skills, and become open to new opportunities.
- Growth Zone: The place where we set goals, find purpose, and create the life we envision
Everything we desire—the best version of ourselves, the ability to lead a purposeful life—exists outside our comfort zone. However, in today’s world, we have become increasingly averse to discomfort. With a simple reach for our cell phones, we can instantly soothe anxiety and stress, avoiding the necessary challenges that lead to growth. But real life, meaningful relationships, and transformative experiences are found in the learning and growth zones.
Using the Choice Moment Model to Navigate Discomfort
When we step outside our comfort zone, discomfort naturally arises. Instead of retreating, we can use the Choice Moment™ Model to pause and get curious:
- What am I feeling, and why? Emotions are data. They have helped us survive and thrive for centuries. Understanding them allows us to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
- How can I choose courage over fear? The space between what happens and how we respond is where growth occurs. If we react out of fear, we remain stuck. But when we pause, reflect, and choose courage, we enter the learning zone.
- How do I move forward with love? When we choose gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion in action, we transform discomfort into an opportunity for learning and growth.
Fear vs. Learning: The Brain’s Role
Fear hijacks the brain, activating the amygdala and shutting down our ability to think, learn, and grow. When we react out of anger, hatred, or resentment (which are often masks for fear), we remain trapped. Learning and growth happen in the prefrontal cortex, where we process information, problem-solve, and develop resilience. To move forward, we must consciously shift from fear-based reactions to love-based responses.
Choosing Love Over Fear: A Daily Challenge
Every choice we make comes from one of two places: love or fear. The outcomes of these choices shape our lives in vastly different ways. The Choose Love Formula™—Courage + Gratitude + Forgiveness + Compassion in Action— guides us through discomfort and into growth.
By practicing this formula, we build the essential life skills needed to navigate challenges, strengthen relationships, and become the best versions of ourselves. This practice isn’t just for children—it’s vital for adults as well. When we choose love over fear, we reclaim control of our emotions and our lives, fostering a world of resilience, understanding, and continuous growth.
Let’s embrace the challenge. Let’s choose love. Let’s stay in the learning zone!
