by Scarlett Lewis, Chief Movement Officer
Past hurts have a profound impact on our lives, often more so than happy memories. This is largely due to our brain’s inherent survival mechanisms, which prioritize painful memories to prevent future harm. Research suggests that our brains are wired to hold onto negative emotions and traumatic experiences more than positive ones. This natural inclination, although essential for our survival, can limit us in multiple aspects of life, and it’s even a contributing factor to the transgenerational transmission of pain and trauma.
Healing from past hurts requires a deliberate and conscious effort to challenge and transform these survival-based biases. The Choose Love Formula provides a powerful framework using courage, gratitude, forgiveness, and compassion to facilitate healing and release.
Courage: Naming and Accepting Past Pain
The first step towards healing is having the courage to name and accept your past pain. Acknowledge that these past experiences had a purpose: to teach you, help you grow, and strengthen you. By facing your pain head-on, you can begin to dismantle its power over you. Understand that every setback and hurt was a building block for your resilience and growth. By recognizing the role of pain in shaping who you are today, you empower yourself to better handle future difficulties with strength and grace.
Gratitude: Shifting Focus from Lack to Abundance
Shifting your focus from what you lack to what you have through the practice of gratitude can fortify you from the inside out. Start by appreciating the small and significant aspects of your life. Gratitude shifts your perspective toward abundance, alleviating feelings of resentment and victimhood. When you consistently practice gratitude, you create a mental and emotional environment conducive to opening your heart and mind to forgiveness.
Forgiveness: The Key to Moving Beyond Past Pain
Forgiveness is a critical component of healing past wounds. Holding onto anger and resentment only serves to prolong your suffering. Forgiveness is not about condoning the actions that hurt you but about freeing yourself from their control. Embrace forgiveness as a path to releasing the heavy burden of past pain, which in turn opens up space within you for compassion and love.
Compassion: Taking Back Your Personal Power from Those Who Hurt Us
We find compassion for those who hurt us by understanding that only hurt people hurt other people. This allows us to release lingering negative energy and come back to a state of love and gratitude. We can get curious about the origin of their pain and see how this limited them. This understanding can transform your perspective and allowing you to reclaim your full power. Compassion paves the way to look beyond past hurts and see the person you wish to become. Compassion in Action is when we take what we’ve learned from our lived experiences, both the joy and the pain, to help others.
Choosing Love Over Fear
Ultimately, choosing love over anger, resentment, and shame is a conscious and powerful decision. These negative emotions often mask deep-seated fears: fears of not being enough, unworthiness, and the painful truth that those who were meant to protect and love us fell short. By choosing love, you choose to break the cycle of pain and trauma. You empower yourself to model resilience, strength, and grace for future generations.
In embracing the Choose Love Formula, you can start today to be the best version of yourself, moving through past hurts and towards a future filled with limitless potential and boundless love.
